You know, it’d be nice if you could just pick up the phone and call. I do so much shit for you, and you can’t even say “no, I’ll stay up a bit more and wait”. Why can’t you just care?
I feel like I can’t write on Tumblr with out immediately being judged by everyone. Just fuck you. If this is how I feel, then this is how I feel. I don’t need you being like “oh, well it’s not like everyone else isn’t feeling the same thing.” or “you’re a shit friend, just shut the fuck up.”. This is my blog, not yours. These are my feelings, not yours.
There is so much fucking pressure from everyone. Do better. Be better. I need room. I need space. I hate having to pretend that I want to talk to you and that I care about what you have to say. You always say shit that brings me down. And I understand that sometimes you don’t notice, but sometimes it feels like you do. I just want school to end so I can be alone.
Omg I actually miss him so much. But so far this trip has been really fun, so whateves.
My life. When my sister and my mum get into a fight about how Victoria doesn’t want to go to church. My mum gives her everything she wants and she can’t do this one small thing for her. She can’t just fake it like I do. I’m so sick of this. You made your own mother cry because you’re a selfish bastard who can’t just do one small thing for her.
Cried around three times on the phone the other night. But that was a really nice phone call, wish you weren’t tired though.
I kind of cut myself off from the world. I stopped talking to everyone but Roger. I stopped logging onto msn mostly because I don’t want to talk to anyone. I kind of just don’t want to be here. I mean, the only reason I still talk to Roger so much is because I know he cares too much to stop talking to me. I couldn’t get rid of that kid if I tried. Everyone else is really easy to disregard because they could care less if I’m around. It makes no difference if I’m in their life or not. I guess I’m being selfish, but god, everyone in my life has been so selfish, so why can’t I?
Always Attract
And nobody really sees the loneliness of it all. Being best friends with the guy you couldn’t like anymore than you already do. It’s great being cute and staring into eachother’s eyes and smiling knowingly at eachother and having long tights hugs. But what’s not great is the sinking feeling that I get in my chest when I see a couple or hear my friend go on about how happy she is that he feels the same way. And I know I chose this path, and I shouldn’t be one to complain, but I just want him to want me so bad. I just don’t want to hurt anymore. And I don’t want to cry anymore. I just want it to happen. Us to happen. I just want us in every way.
And I always do this to myself. I always wait for people. No one’s ever going to wait for me.
Today was five years for my grandma. I don’t think I have ever missed someone so much.
I’m not the protagonist in this story. I’m not going to get the guy. And it hurts and it sucks. I just never win. Why do I even try?
People like you are the reasons I put my friends before myself. I would never be as selfish as you.
Zelda Violin Duet
For the sheet music for the Zelda medley, check the link below!
http://www.lindseystirlingviolin.com/category/sheet-music/HEY ALEX!!! THIS IS LoZ SEX FOR MY EARS!!! Just saying…
OH MY GAWD. WHAT IS HAPPENING. OMG.
(Source: youtube.com)
Do you even care that your hurt me every day?
Because everything I say gets transferred to her. And I have to deal with it again. And it feels like I can’t even trust you sometimes.
Why the fuck do people always feel the need to change for the worse? I know you’re scared, but this isn’t benefiting you.
